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Anyone who has children knows that getting ready to get out the door for school can be very difficult. I recall different times throughout the years being very stressed with the morning routine. As a single, working mother of two children ages 21 and 10, I have learned and continue to learn a few things that make the morning routine run a little smoother. Disclaimer…. I'm still a work in progress. These are just a few things that seem to help me at this station in my life. I've made plenty of mistakes and continue to learn from them. Perhaps some of my ideas on making the morning run smoother might help you. I must admit only having one child to get ready for school is much easier than when I had a child in middle school and a child in day care. Many things that I do now have taken years to tweak and were out of necessity. One necessity was realizing I was the only adult my children could count on for before and after school care 99% of the time. I do not have family in the area and my ex-husband is approximately 40 minutes away. If I didn't get organized or at least try, things were going to be stressful in the morning. Believe me I recall mornings unable to get my teenager out of bed and having a crying daughter because her socks didn't match and the socks “didn't feel right.”
Wake Up! Wake Up!
Who can judge a child who has trouble getting up the first week of school. Some are sleeping in a little later each week of summer. To go from getting up at 9:00 to getting up at 6:30 is difficult. About a week before school starts I wake my daughter up a little earlier each day. I explain this to her prior to doing this. If she is sleeping in until 9:00 I might wake her at 8:30 for a few days and again explain by saying this is so we can get up when school starts. The next day it might be 8:00, and then at 7:00, etc. This really works and also helps me since I teach school and have a different sleep pattern in the summer months.
One thing I learned from problems with my son was about cell phones and electrical devices. When my daughter does end up with a cell phone it will not be in her room after 9:00 on school nights. I remember waking up in the middle of the night when my son was a senior. I would hear his phone beep at 2:00, 2:30, 3:30, or even 4:00 in the morning with a text message from his girlfriend. This is broken sleep and he was looking tired and exhausted during the day. I have learned from mistakes with him that electronic devices should be off at a certain time regardless of the age of the child.
Turn off the Internet connections at a certain time. Sometimes I'm so tired and would fall asleep and I would wake up and again my then teenage son would be on the computer. I now have my computer set up that my daughter can not be on the computer after a certain time since the network is shut off. I do have the network back on again at 5:00 in the morning just in case there is a last minute assignment that needs looked up in the morning for school.
I would also have the iPod, Nintendo (especially those that connect to the Internet), mp3 players, and other electronic devices that could affect your child's sleep out of the room at a certain time. My daughter does have a game system in her room; however, if I wake up at 2:00 in the morning and she is on that game system she is aware that it will be out of her room. Children might resent you for this however, let them it is tough love for their health and safety. Broken sleep and the lack of sleep can really affect children in school and in the morning.
Get Up Five Minutes Earlier
That is easier said than done; however, I found it helps. Why is it that some mornings you can get up at 6:00 and everything goes well and you are out the door on time and other mornings you can't. Well… I have found the unexpected happens. Getting up five minutes earlier helps you to clean up the cat vomit that you didn't expect to find. It helps you to clean up the gallon jug of milk that you child dropped on the floor. It helps you deal with the bathroom sink that broke. It helps you miss traffic. It will help when picking out the clothing. Also, you can start making a little noise so the children are aware they are getting up soon. If you get up earlier it seems they get up earlier. I always liked to give my kids the five minute warning. Prior to the age that my children obtained an alarm clock I would say in a very nice tone, “Hun, you need to get up in five minutes.” I would return and say, “Okay, time to get up.” If I went back and they were not up they would get negative reinforcement. Once they were aware of this they would usually wake up after the “Hun you need to get up in five minutes” remark. When my son was a teenager I reminded him that he needed to be in the car waiting for me, not me waiting for him. Needless to say this was a very difficult time. If he was late because he didn't wake up when his alarm went off it can affect the rest of the family and my job; therefore, I would wake him up the next morning five minutes early. He would exclaim, “It's not time to get up!!!” I would explain, “It was since he was late yesterday.” These seems cruel; however as a single mother with one income I could not let him directly affect my daughter and myself every morning. I was recently told of a woman that was in trouble at work since she is late all the time. Her teenage daughter was causing her to be late. I made it clear with my son that at a certain time I would leave without him. He knew I would. So how is letting my son stay home from school a punishment; it wasn't. I needed to get my daughter to school on time and get to work on time. One individual wasn't going to constantly inconvenience and affect the rest of the family. The punishment for a teen would not be staying at home that could be considered a reward. Therefore the punishment had to be something else other than staying home from school; for example, loss of cell phone, loss of video games, loss of car, loss of computer, and/or loss of television that night. After a few times your teen will believe you and will be on time or early. I am sure of it; I lived it.
Bathroom Issues
Depending on the number of bathrooms you have you might have morning bathroom issues. I have a three bedroom ranch with 1 and 1/2 baths. I didn't realize how much of a blessing a half bath was until I had a teenager. Although my son would shower in the full bath I moved all of his bathroom grooming items to the other 1/2 bath. His deodorant, shaving items, toothbrush, and toothpaste. This gave him some privacy and his own space while it freed up the other bathroom. Since my home is small it wasn't a far walk for him to the half bath off of the kitchen.
Shower the night before… If possible have family members shower at night especially the first week of school. You can get a teen to shower the night before just by saying you will have extra time to sleep in the morning. Having a shower in the evening is relaxing and can help people sleep better. Also, the sheets will stay cleaner longer. Personally, I do prefer a shower in the morning; however many times especially the first week of school I shower in the evening to make the morning routine better.
Utilize a timer… Some children might resent the timer idea; however it could be utilized if you have a number of children who insist on showering in the morning. Having a child set a timer prior to getting a shower can help them be aware of the time they have spent in the shower and could be used as a guide for them to be aware of time. I do not feel the timer should be used as a form of punishment but rather a tool to inform the person in the shower when five or so minutes are up. Please let them have time to rinse after the timer goes off. Personal hygiene is important and short showers should not become a punishment; also utilizing a timer can also save money on your water bill.
Consider the Breakfast Program
I am so lucky that the district I live in has a breakfast program that I could enroll my children in throughout the years. At one point my daughter didn't want to eat at the program I explained to her about the time I have to get to work and how if she wanted to get her own breakfast at home each morning that is fine; however, she would still have to go to the program and at least drink juice so that I could get to my job early or on time. The extra 15 minutes this give me is a blessing. I beat a lot of school traffic and am able to get to work in a timely manner.
When I first moved to the area I wasn't sure what I would do before school for my son who was five years old at the time. I thank the elementary school secretary, June, who mentioned the school breakfast program. I believe the cost is now approximately $2.00 a day or less depending on what they eat or drink.
Pay Ahead for School Meals
If your child buys lunch you might be able to relate to the Sunday night frantic search for school lunch money if you are paying for the week. Or you might be handed the school lunch “I owe you” notice 2 seconds before you are about to head out the door. I mentioned paying for the school lunch for nine weeks at a time to my ex-husband. He was against this idea although we would have been able to afford it. The next school year after my divorce I thought to myself, I can pay for lunch and breakfast programs for nine weeks at a time now. What a convenience and it has really saved time. I pay by check for nine weeks until the last nine weeks. During the last nine weeks of school, I realized that field trips and absent days throughout the year might have caused a different balance in the account. During the last nine weeks I pay for about five weeks of breakfast and lunch and then go week to week after that with envelopes made up ahead of time with the amount I should owe. Last school year I wrote a note to the head lunch lady asking what the balance was and to find out if I owed any money. I included my email address; how convenient it was to get an email from the lunch lady. I thanked her for the balance and paid accordingly.
Load Up the Car
If your child takes the bus have the book bags, sports equipment, and/or instruments right beside the door ready to go. If you drop them off at school and have a garage you could have them put these things in the car the night before depending on temperature and the contents of the book bag. My daughter is pretty good about her school supplies and having things ready to go. One day last year she forgot her instrument and I had enough time to turn around and get it; however, if she forgets her instrument and I won't be early or on time for work I would just state, “I'm sorry I can't have this affect my job I hope next time you remember it.” This tough love has caused her to remember things and take responsibility for her schedule. The elementary had a six day schedule in five days so I wasn't always sure when her band lesson was/is. Remind your child that you will do whatever you can to help them; however, you can't affect your job for a saxophone or book bag. This tough love is difficult; however, when you are the only parent and you don't have help with the children it is a necessity.
Also, in the winter I keep an extra hat and gloves in the car that I bought at the end of the season the year before. Many times I turned around to find my child without hat and gloves in the middle of a cold winter day. I also keep an extra jacket in the car for when the temperature suddenly changes in October and a hair brush. It is amazing that 10 year old girls sometimes do not feel the need to brush their hair in the morning.
Be Prepared for the “Oh Yeah” Statement
How many parents at 9:00 at night have heard, “oh yeah, I need something for the school bake sale tomorrow.” Great! You put in a day of work and they wait until 9:00 at night. This year I've decided to have cookie mix or brownie mix on hand. If I'm told this in the morning and there isn't time to hit the Wal-mart with time to spare I say, “I'm so sorry but you needed to tell me sooner. I hope things work out for you today.” I found the next time the remember to tell you the night before. Also have them help you make the snack. You might need to check you school policy since so many are now insisting on only healthy snacks. Also, I wouldn't send anything with peanuts or peanut butter since there are so many allergies.
The Never Ending Laundry
Prior to school starting I like to have all of the laundry in the house done and even though I have laundry clutter problems I like to have it organized as much as possible. If you can afford it have enough jeans and clothes ready for your student to get through a week or two of school. I feel blessed and fortunate that my daughter will have outfits for approximately two weeks and even more shirts. This was not always the case for me. I recall having to do laundry during the week so that my son would have clean clothes for the end of the week. I like to complete a load or two of laundry during the week; however, if it isn't possible due to schedules it is nice to have things ready to go.
Socks, socks, socks…. ugh
My daughter and I now can wear the same socks. Recently we had two sock folding competitions where I set the timer for five minutes and the person with the most matches of socks won. We had another five minute competition for the color or dark socks. What did we win, organized socks. I can not recall both scores; however in the one competition I won 14 pairs of socks to 12 pairs. All of the older socks or socks we don't like or wear as often are now going in a drawer in the spare room. If something happens during school that we run out of matching socks we can go to the emergency sock drawer.
Sports and Uniforms
A friend of mine mentioned a woman who has two wonderful sons. The boys both played football and were informed by their mother that they had to wash the football uniforms. She made it clear that she was not touching the uniforms. One night it was late and the son said he forgot to wash the football uniform and that he had a game the next night. The mother stated, “I guess you are going to be up late since I need my sleep for work.” The son stayed up and washed his uniform for the Friday night game. I want to ad that this woman is not a mean woman she has two well-behaved sons who now have recently finished college. While at college these young men were able to do their own laundry since they learned the skill in junior high/middle school.
My motto: laundry is created by all and it should be completed by all. I do not mind washing my daughters soccer uniform; however, she will also wash and put away the uniform and help with other clothes. My son and daughter both began folding washcloths at age three. By the age of six they were helping with the towels. A three year old who is folding washcloths needs positive reinforcement and actually feels good about it since they are contributing to helping the family. (Note: sometimes in my experience a 17 year old is not as eager to help.)
Ironing
Although I avoid the iron; if you do have an outfit that needs ironing try to do this the night before it saves time in the morning. Maybe try ironing clothes for the week or a few days would save you time. This doesn't really work out for me since I avoid ironing clothes; however, I'm making an effort to iron more often. I thank the Lord for permanent press a big time saver.
Finally Communicate
Your children are your children and you are the parent; but, they are still people. Take the time to explain why you need help with the laundry, why they should get a good nights sleep, and why it is better for the entire family if the morning is smoother. The atmosphere in the morning can set the mood for the day. Even with all of this you will have a morning of stress at times; however, it should be a less. Your children need to care enough about you to consider that you also have demands and a job that you need to report to on time in order to keep a roof over their head and food on the table. I feel mutual respect is the best. I appreciate the help my children have given me and in closing I would like to say thank you
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